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Fourteen and a half crazy frog burpers

4th March 2011

The 10 Best YouTube Video’s (Even Better Than That Other List You Read)

Filed under: Internet,Jokes — Alex Holt @ 9:48 pm

Right, I know you read about all these other lists of “top 10 videos ever” blah-blah! But seriously. They never seem to satisfy me. They always leave out the ones that I think were freakin’ amazing. So, in true “OMG! Sum1 on the Intert00bs is wong!!one!”… here is my subtle attempt at bashing them.

Firstly, an honorable mention for Numa Numa –  a classic bizarre video from long before the realms of YouTube! Additionally – Charlie and Susan Boyle (both of the YouTube era), although not my favourites – do get a hat tip for being interesting for a watch at least once.

But now, in reverse order – the top 10!

10 – Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring: Banana Phone!

This is truely, truely the most frusting song on the internet. Once you’ve heard it, you cannot get it out of your head for the rest of the day.

9 – Mario A Capella

A group effort showing a bunch of people singing the Super Mario tune, providing all the parts and the entertainment – with none of the expensive woodwind section

8 – Leeeeeeeroy Jeeeeenkins!

Ask any World Of Warcraft player if they have heard of Leeroy Jenkins and 99% will say yes. So utterly famous he appeared in a recent update and you can now get an in-game achievement with his name.

7 – Rick Rolling!

A meme of the most annoying type. Used normally to trick people into listening to it – I’m offering it to you this time with a warning: This video contains Rick Astley.

6 – Boo. Hahahahahaha! Baby

This quite simply makes you smile and is one of the rare videos on the internet that doesn’t involve laughing at someone else’s expense.

5 – Star Wars Kid

The original is amazing! But then there are loads of follow ups (particularly good is the light saber adaption). He became so famous that the Internet bought him a Macbook and Lucas Arts gave him a role in one of the Star Wars films. Epic!

4 – The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

If I’m not mistaken, the first full 1080P YouTube video (be sure to set it to HD before you watch!) – and it’s awesome. I’m a fan of the Muppet’s and Queen separately, so when this came out – my head exploded.

3 – The Ultimate Showdown (of Ultimate Destiny)

From the era of Flash comes this bizarre storyline accompaniment to what appears to be a celebrity-apocalypse. Very fun and very tongue in cheek.

2 – Terry Tate: Office Quarterback

Sensationally funny! I have long since campaigned to get a guy like this into every workplace. Up to yet, I’ve been 100% unsuccessful – but I have not given up hope!

1 – The Evolution of Dance

This guy can SERIOUSLY dance. I don’t mean in a crappy Britain’s Got Talent kinda way! The best few minutes of your day – watch it! It’s the best video in the entire interwebs!

24th December 2009

Joke 18/18: Attack of the Killer Box!

Filed under: Jokes — Alex Holt @ 3:38 pm

Hope you all have (or have had, by the time you read this) a fantastic Christmas! All the best for 2010! J Enjoy!

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise…….

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

He froze to the spot, he couldn’ t believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly….It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. …….

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

BUMP……..

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster………

BUMP……..BUMP……

BUMP……..BUMP..

BUMP……..BUMP……

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him……

BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…

BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…

BUMP……..BUMP…BUMP…

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ……

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP.

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…..

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…BUMP.

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase…..

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom locked the door……..

BUMP…SCREECH…HOP..BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…

BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…BUMP…SCREECH…HOP..

BUMP…SCREECH…HOP…BUMP…SCREECH…HOP..

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges….. The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP.SCREECH…

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet…… He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin…….still it came ……..

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH…

He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ….still it came……

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP.SCREECH…

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it …..still it came……

BUMP…SCREECH…BUMP…SCREECH..

He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it……..

The coffin stopped.

23rd December 2009

Joke 17/18: The Son Without A Torso

Filed under: Jokes — Alex Holt @ 12:15 pm

A man is waiting for wife to give birth on Christmas Eve. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!

But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink!”

The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out.

The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving.

The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink!” The bartender ignores the whole affair.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left… then to the right… right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.”

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