Apologies for the lateness of Friday’s joke (being as it is now Monday – I feel you have just reason to be upset!). So I shall not delay, here today is Friday’s fantastic funny – followed shortly by today’s..

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats… lightsabres drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said, “Ohhh, yes! I know!”.

Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform just out of Vader’s reach, “How do you know!?” Luke yelled at him, “How do you know what I’m getting for Christmas!?”

Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare, “The force is with me… I felt your presents.”

• • Joke 5/18: Three Strings One Christmas Eve, when all the presents had been wrapped,...