I’m just back in the office after a trip out into the town centre. I walked past a toyshop window to see what this years “must have children’s toy” is. My word they have some rubbish! One I saw was a “Neurotic Doll” – it comes already wound up. Another was “Divorced Barbie” – apparently comes with all Ken’s stuff.

On with the joke…

Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field. Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.

He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding.

Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second.

He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been… seriously hampered!

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